I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
