Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
