Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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