All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
