I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
