Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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