$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
