dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
