i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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