It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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