You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize