i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
