I need help removing her.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
