what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
