She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
