My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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