i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
