I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
