Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
