There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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