If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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