wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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