There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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