yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
