I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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