used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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