I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
