where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
