when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
