apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize