i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
