I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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