If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
