I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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