Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
