Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
