i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Rumble strips road head = magical
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
