So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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