what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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