Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
