nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
