we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
