So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
