He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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