super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
