I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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