before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
