Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
