i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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