Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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