you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
