you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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