i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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