..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
