is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
