i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Randomize
