Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
