you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
