Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
