He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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